You are the reason I've survived ❤️

There'll be many phases in your life when either people leave you or someone enters your life. If they left then they don't mean anything to u anymore, that's what they say, but sorry I will go against it today I guess. And if you are a  person who hates sad endings I will definitely not recommend you to read this.

(TW- TRIGGER WARNING) ⚠️ 

You can't even think about anything else, can you? You'll have 10,000 things on your plate but your heart will be still screaming for that one who left you. Just think if your brain could actually format certain parts.  Abrakadabra or say some technology could do it. And our life would be heaven nah? 

Ahhhh I wish ..... 

But No life will just give u those memories like a video recorder set for life long. And even certain things about them could just like clash ur heart and brain again.♡  

This is the story of me! Who u mean?

I m Megha, Uk my pain don't u? Finally found someone whom I thought was mine forever. No kidding I m seriously! 

Yes,  the world told me. Girl, don't u think you are too young to think so?  Maybe I was but I really did believe that ♡ 

Here we go again, 

I had my podcasts set with the perfect time to view sunset alongside. The podcasts went on but this time I rarely cared about it. Why? Cause I didn't know some people mean so much to that you can keep thinking about them all day! (Even after they left the same way they told u that they won't). It's kind of heart-wrenching! But Brain ugh! It will give a rewind of a movie trailer of your memories with them ofc!

 As if it had thought, 

BRAIN: Finally, got the time to use my editing skills :) 

I was on the local bus, my brain just started its flashback videos! (Ps: I hate u my 🧠) 

They were good memories of me with my friends living my life to the fullest and regretting things like why is it 2020 rn?  :-0

You know those days when you feel you have no one? And suddenly you get a text that asks "How was your day? Did you eat?". Just a few lines and your mood will completely change.

Glad that I had such people who never gave up on me. You do have someone like that? Don't you?We all wish for someone ofc! 

Do u ever look someone and think how did I fall for this person? Like why didn't you think about your decisions twice. Lowkey we all make exceptions for that one person in life Don't we? 

Yeah even I , Megha let that happen , falling in love with someone who is not what my type was.

Been reading too many romance books lol! And your expectations sky rocket no doubt! 

Did I really love him? Yes 

Will my feelings ever change for him? No 

Will I ever be able to feel the same way about love? No

A story that begins with instagram story is gonna end on a instagram story y'll. I did have the best time of my life with him. Can I cry out my pain? No Ig. 

It was raining day, I was waiting for him at the bus stop. He was pretty late but his smile did compromise for it all ! We were having the best day of our life. The giggles, the jokes he had can make me laugh for hours , our gossip sessions and at the end we would make a bucket list with tons of things in it. 

Eventually we found each other way too much attached , yeah did scare us a lot . May it be being possessive, being there , helping each other out through everything . Like just too dependant on each other at time. Loving him was easy cause his love language  was physical touch. Unfortunately mine wasn't, but we were quite past it . Like I said you make exceptions always! His touch was something that made me feel safe . I hate touch but his touch was something I would crave for . 

It was a pretty amazing relationship until one day he was quite tensed about the future. I was quite shocked cause he was one of them who would say " Go with the flow" , and eventually that's what he believed in,  while I was someone who wanted everything to be planned or atleast to be though of once. 

He was a part of me that I never wanted to lose. 

And you realise things like these once you lose a person always. He really was my everything! I  have learned so much from him being patient , humble and many  more things. Thankful for that always! Finding a person like him will always be rare. I'll always look upto him no matter what. He was the one who healed me from my past relationships too , Forever Thankful to him ♡ 

We were quite opposites but when it comes about love we did have each other for it at even the end of the world. 

One fine day, he was tensed about future and called out the relationship. I was clueless as to what happened.

Someone I thought about having a future with, will be my ex now? My heart had got it again, a heartbreak again which was always a nightmare for me . 

A million questions through my mind.

Was I not good enough? 

Did I do something? 

Did I hurt him? 

I was so addicted to him that I never understood the problem and kept blaming myself for it. Never getting a closure for something is completely a havoc. 

Months passed , so did the tears .

I was finally finding myself through the tears and almost turned emotionless ig. Tried moving on , found a part of me I never knew about. One who could be the toughest even after what she went through in her past. 

Never blamed anyone for their inability to take decisions properly. 

Anytime you find yourself in such situations where you just don't know what to do with your life, go to that one person you always had by your side may it be your best friend/ online friend or a family member someone you trust the most or even you diary (the one who listens to you always with no words to say back) ♡ 

Talk your heart to them out , the peace/the relief you get after it is just heavenly I promise you! Find the life you deserve ! 

Yeah eventually he did text again saying he couldn't move on and wanted to see if we could give "US" an  another chance. 

As much as you can read my mind . Yeah I did agree on that one and we gave US a chance but it was months after the breakup . Either we fell out of love or had completely given up on the idea of love. Nothing seemed to have been working out between us. That touch didn't have the warmth anymore and feelings didn't have their worth anymore. And trying to stretch this relationship would mean just extending the toxicity of it and would do no good for the both of us

Not everything works out and it's okay . 

Not all second chances work! 

But do you know who saved me again? 

Shawn Mendes did, the one who has always saved me from the worst of things , depression years before & time when I  doubted myself. He wasn't there physically but his words and his songs gave me a ray of hope and always will. 

Not just an idol but has became by whole life for certain reasons. 

Loving is easy , unloving someone is hard but once you accept those memories and enjoy life that's when you actually achieved something for sure. 

Not every story has a good ending and mine is one of them .And it's okay , never give up on love though. Keep reading those novels and those movies which keep the world of love in you alive.

Thanks for being a kind soul and reading it till the end. More love and regards to you, 

Megha Rao♡ 

(Hehe don't forget me , cause you just read a chapter from the journey of my book about life and we'll be meeting again.)